Itchy, B*tchy, Brave: My Perimenopausal Journey

itchy

When I turned 47, I was blindsided by what I now know was perimenopause ...I wrote this when I was really really struggling with EVERYTHING irritating me. Can you relate?

Something Kate Codrington said during our recent interview has been lurking around under the surface of my mind (actually so so so many things since that chat, but this one in particular I haven't mined as yet).

Paraphrasing, Kate said something like "I felt so scratchy in perimenopause" and I realised that is exactly how I feel.

I am scratchy, itchy, intolerant on so many levels.

Just in the last 24 hours I felt a bone deep aversion to:
- my phone pinging notifications
- people in general
- noise of any kind
- the feel of wet grass under my feet
- too bright light
- background conversation
- the feel of beloved leather motorbike jacket around my neck
- the feeling of wind in my face on the back of the bike which I used to live for
- even the sound of our dogs breathing for god's sake.

My skin feels tight, my soul feels raw and oh so tender, and any little thing could so easily tip me over the edge with it's intolerable itch.

And don't even get me started on my trigger temper .. I feel like I am surfing the very worst irritable, cranky, wild waves of PMT but multiple times a day every. freaking. day.

so, yes there's all of that.

And also.
there's a strong knowing inside me that the only way out of this messiness is through.

there will be no rushing.
there can be no pushing.
there is so much to shed.
there is so much to know.

And I all I truly need to do is just. be. here. now.
and to just. be. here. now. means

- releasing my attachment to what "needs to get done" and
- letting go of the plan of what "must happen today" and
- honouring the deep pull I feel for solo time, alone, in the dark, with earplugs in and eye pillow on.
- listening to the wild woman wisdom that is calling me home
- honouring (finally, magically, powerfully) how brave it is to just. be. here. now

To all my fellow itchy. bitchy. brave. fellow midlife mavens.

I see you.
I hear you.
May you feel safe.
May you feel surrendered.
May you find a way to do what you need to do for you ... no matter what that looks and feels like.

May you feel brave enough to just. be. here. now.

(And if you need me I'll be in my itchy, bitchy, brave cave hahah!)

x Kylie


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PS if you need some help making sense of why you're so on-edge right now, go grab a freebie copy of my 'meh' to Midlife Mojo Mini Course - it will help you understand why the heck everything feels like it's changing, and help you see some of the benefits of the perimenopause transition (yes, I DO mean benefits!).

Grab yourself a copy here.



#perimenopause #perimenopausehealth #menopausehealth #menopause #midlifeselfcare #midlifecoach #mindbodybreath #selfsoothe

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