On Grief and Growth in Midlife

grief and growth

I'm currently in love with the music and lyrics of Billianne and this song Growing out of
all the Places I Loved is one of my on-repeat faves.

I can’t help but feeling that these lyrics (although written by a 19 year old who I am
guessing has not given 2 secs of thought to perimenopause, and nor should she!) have
so much to say about this life transition we are going through.
And the inevitable grief of all the things that change as we age.

Of outgrowing friendships,
of healing old ways of being that no longer serve us,
Of our changing bodies and brains,
of losing loved ones we hold so dear,
of our parents getting older,
of our kids growing up and leaving our nests,
of all the ways in which we are dying and being re-born.

I am missing my Dad right now so much, it is a physical ache way down in the heart of
me, the waves of grief never really leave me - even after 12 years, specially around his
birthday 10th July, and always when I am worried or just need to be told it will all be ok.
I am missing the way my kids used to be here every day and every night, the car
trips singing and the late night chats and the Maccas runs just to do something
together.

I am missing the energy I used to have, but also used to abuse I now realise, and the
unquenchable thirst to learn and do and be which seems to escape me at times now.

And most of all I miss being close to friends, or having a network physically living near
me, and the spontaneous dinners and cocktails of our younger years.
And although I know this is all for a purpose, all part of this metamorphosis,
sometimes it feels like a lot to hold.

Do you feel like you are grieving so much right now too?

x Kylie 

Sleep | Mental Health | Confidence: My perimenopausal three-legged stool
Breaking the Habit of Being the Good Girl

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