S5E19: It Doesn't Stop with Me, It Starts With Me with Akary Busto

Akary Busto is an Emotional Biohacker dedicated to helping individuals transform their trauma and reclaim their power through nervous system regulation techniques. Combining HeartMath practices, Human Design, and breathwork, she supports clients in moving from survival mode to thriving with vitality.

Akary isn’t just here to regulate your nervous system - she’s here to help you reclaim your power, rewire your story, and return to your truest self. A self-described emotional biohacker, Akary blends Human Design, HeartMath, breathwork, and quantum wisdom to support women moving from survival mode into sovereignty.

In this juicy, soul-stirring episode:

• Why trauma isn’t personal—and how to break generational patterns without shame
• How nervous system regulation is the missing link in deep transformation
• The truth about breathwork, addiction, and that “just keep swimming” energy
• Quantum Human Design vs Traditional HD—what it is, why it matters, and how it supports healing
• The shift from “it stops with me” to “it STARTS with me” (get ready to feel that one land)

This isn’t your average wellness chat. It’s deep, nuanced, heart-led—and packed with permission slips to stop striving and start feeling.

Find Akary and the resources mentioned in this episode at https://uhkare.com/ and @uhkarebreathwork on Instagram

 ___

It is high time you STOPPED all the polishing, pretending, curating, farcical half-truth telling, systems of oppression proliferating, totally unsustainable clusterfckery that most marketing / coaching / social media 'experts' espouse

TRANSCRIPT - S5E19: Transforming Trauma, One Breath at a Time with Akary Busto

Akary Busto: [00:00:00] And so my belief is that we can go through it in a very gentle goddess kind of way. We do not need to go through the male lens of, it has to be hard and I have to be sweating. Yeah. Yeah. It just boils down to that.

Kylie Patchett: Welcome to the Wild and finally fucking free podcast show. This is a space where truth talking gets real. Behind the scenes grit of the future humans is laid bare, and we are celebrating and sharing the real raw stories of change. Agents, neuros, sparkly people, the witchy wild women, the deep feelers, the unapologetic senses, the status quo challenges, and the huge hearted healers and helpers.

Kylie Patchett: And guiding you through this wild ride of entrepreneurship and full heart led contribution to the world is me, your host, Kylie Patchett, A-K-E-K-P. I am a proudly neuros, sparkly, natural born, status quo, challenger, and I thrive on [00:01:00] helping disruptors rebels and revolutionaries find their voices, amplify their message into the world, and harness their raw potential.

Kylie Patchett: Alchemize it into unleashing your full potency. Not only will I be sharing the behind the scenes of some of the most amazing, most status quo challenging thought leaders, I'll also be lifting the veil behind my own business. In 2024 I 18 Xed my monthly income deal blows my mind to say that. And this year I'm leaning into how joyful and fun it would be to shift from six figures to seven figures in a quantum shifting year.

Kylie Patchett: All through leading from my full unapologetic voice. My unleashed potency and with my big, wildly lit up heart leading the way every single step of the way. So we are going to share the mess and the [00:02:00] magic, the tea on identity. Shifting behind thought leadership. So together with my guests, I am going to be sharing the mess and the magic.

Kylie Patchett: Spilling the tea on the identity shifts behind stepping into thought leadership, breaking the ties that bind us on learning old patterns and reweaving brand new ways of living, loving learning, and leading. We are here to break boundaries, reimagine what's possible, all while collapsing timelines and leading with joy.

Kylie Patchett: Love. And our fiercest wild woman selves. This is not just a podcast. It is a rebellion. It is a revolution. It is an invitation to join the Mad Hatters Collective Movement. And by Mad Hatters, I mean all the colorful, creative, gorgeous world changing out of the box humans out there. If you've ever longed to be wild and finally fucking free, this is your sign to lean in.

Kylie Patchett: Let's get [00:03:00] started.

Kylie Patchett: Hello everybody. Welcome to the podcast. I'm so excited for this interview. We have already chatted for 35 minutes. We should probably have just have turned it on. So hello and

Akary Busto: welcome to you beautiful Akari Busto. How are you? I am doing fantastic. Thank you for having me. This is fun. We have already been talking about perimenopause, human design,

Kylie Patchett: kids coming back to home, animals, all sorts of things.

Kylie Patchett: So let's just dive in. For anyone who doesn't already know about you and your beautiful work in the world, can you share who you are, what you do, how you would like to?

Akary Busto: Yes. So I coined the phrase emotional biohacker because I love to mix. Everything together and look at someone from a mind, body, soul perspective, especially when we're talking about the nervous system.

Akary Busto: So I work with women and I try [00:04:00] to help them really learn how to respond to life instead of react to life, which that takes us through so many different, little rabbit holes around the why. Why does this happen? So I love to look at root cause of things and move my way through so that we can identify what are those triggers that are really bothering us so that we can take that energy away from them and pretty much changed the narrative of what that is.

Kylie Patchett: I just love the whole concept of responding, not reacting. I'm just like, can we just have a little moment, have a little deep breath feel into how much nicer that feels in the body? And then I wanna know, so how, like you, you combined so many different modalities and I was like, oh, this lady is like a different version of me.

Kylie Patchett: Like pulls in all of these different threads to look at the individual. I love that you say root cause because before we started recording, I was saying to you about, [00:05:00] ending up in a medical science field where everything was pulled apart and we weren't ever looking at everyone, at anyone as a whole.

Kylie Patchett: And you do it exactly opposite to that. So what sort of modalities do you, probably hundreds because you've probably learned so many, but

Akary Busto: so in, in traditional human design, I am a generator. In quantum human design, I am an alchemist. Ooh. I know, and it's juicy because it really tells you about the person and like you, you're an alchemist yourself, and so we bring a lot of different things together.

Akary Busto: Yeah. One of my pet peeves around the healthcare system is exactly that, is that no one ever really looks at the person as a whole, and we're looking at one thing without realizing that we're messing something else up, and no one's telling me about it. Yeah. And it just creates so many more problems.

Akary Busto: And so when I am working with you and your nervous system, I am going really against everything that we've been [00:06:00] taught. I've been I am not a one to many people. I am here to work with one individual person because you are very unique. Your nervous system is very unique. There's no way that I can hold space for 10, 20 different nervous systems in one room, and it's unfair.

Akary Busto: It really is so unfair. And so what I've done is that I started with breath work because in my corporate life, right? One of the many things that I have gotten myself into, I was a, and I, the end of my career of my banking career ended in offshore banking. Hang on. Banking. I know.

Akary Busto: Profile anyone who's not video, anyone who's not watching the video, Ari has this beautiful white like and shirt that's got these red stars on it, and it's no, you are no, you do not fit banking. Sorry to interrupt, but that is what?

Akary Busto: Banker. So I ended up in offshore banking, Uhhuh [00:07:00] or Lloyd's, which is based out of London.

Akary Busto: Yep. And it just, the stress, the amount of stress, the travel. Having to juggle family, child, you name it. It just, it's just a lot. It's a lot. And I could not find a way to just release all of that. And it was probably about 2013 when I started to dive into what meditation could be like.

Akary Busto: And I tried so many different types. I did transcendental meditation and I thought that was so boring. I could not sit for 20 minutes. Gosh, can you believe that twice a day? 20 minutes as a generator? What a waste of time. I've got things to do. So that's not just me. No. Welcome to my world. I was so disillusioned because I was like, when do I feel amazing?

Akary Busto: When do I get all, when do I get to reap the benefits of these 20 minutes? Yeah. And so [00:08:00] I was invited to do this breath work meditation, and I had no idea what I was getting into. I go, I have this out of body experience. The first time I was able to disconnect my brain from my body, which that never had happened before.

Akary Busto: And I started traveling into what I believe was probably the cosmos, sacred geometry, like just bunch of colors. I was like, what in the world is this? And I had gone with my partner and I looked at him and I said, oh my God, this is like an LSD like trip. Yes. And he looks at me and he says, okay when did you?

Akary Busto: And I said, I don't even know. This is what my body recognizes at as a total LSD trip.

Kylie Patchett: And it

Akary Busto: was just so amazing. It really tapped into a different part of myself and I was like, God, this is what everybody should be doing. And through the process and through the practice, I realized that.

Akary Busto: [00:09:00] People who go to drugs, to, to alcohol. It's almost like that shortcut to get out of your body, right? When you can actually just do breath work and get there and just be in this blissful space. So as I was doing breath work and going in and out of different groups, I met two women who were getting ready to quit their jobs.

Akary Busto: They were done with the work. They were the, their projectors. So not being, yeah. And they were just really deep into learning and developing these systems. So they're wonderful. So they had just started their their own podcast in 2019. Yeah. And they were very excited because they were doing breath work with me, and they were like, this is amazing.

Akary Busto: We want to do this deconditioning through breath work. Yes. So I was interviewed. And it went crazy. It just went really crazy. I kept getting people coming to me asking me for for breath work sessions. Yeah. [00:10:00] And so my question to them was, okay, so what is your type? Do you have your chart?

Akary Busto: And they were like, no, I have my appointment for my reading in about three months. And I was like I can't do breath work with you and really focus on your chart. And so I got sucked into this human design space because I couldn't wait for my girlfriends to like, get their energy up to do these readings.

Akary Busto: It was taking way too long. And so as I started to work with these women, we were peeling the layers of a lot of onions that were not, that had not been probed or touched. And so a lot of trauma started to come through and. I didn't feel like I was equipped to go there directly.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah.

Akary Busto: And so that's when I started going profoundly into the human design and more of a trauma-informed space.

Akary Busto: [00:11:00] Yeah. Learning about heart-centered meditations, learning about sound frequencies. I just really dove into this juicy place of finding ways to support the women that were coming to me, because I'm telling you the level of trauma and the stories that I have had to create safe containers for. There are many times that I have walked outta my office and said, oh my God.

Akary Busto: I feel like I've heard it all. And then I get, and then I get sucked back in and so we're talking about deep wounds deep emotional wounds that women have been, I. Surviving and the type of trauma loops that they're stuck in and the narrative of the story that they get stuck in. And so that's what I really try to tap into because when we start learning about the brain [00:12:00] and what a crappy, like ironic story lives in the brain because you don't always remember what happened or the way you remember the hippocampus, does a complete turnaround around it.

Akary Busto: And so that's when I started to reevaluate the narrative of my story, the arrogance of my little 20-year-old who's going the world was against me and sitting in that victim space. And then that story kept growing and growing and really just taking up space. And so when I started di diving deeper into human design, I realized that I didn't like it.

Akary Busto: I did not like the vocabulary that raw used no. And so

Kylie Patchett: doesn't speak to me at all.

Akary Busto: Boom, comes Quantum human design. And I pretty much spent about a year and a half diving really deep into quantum human design with Karen Curry Parker. Yep. She's been to me like the [00:13:00] pioneer of where do we go from this traditional human design and how do we get to that quantum space?

Akary Busto: And so that's where I live in and that's how I travel with people. I have created a collaboration with a shamanic practitioner in Mexico, and we co-facilitate water family constellations. Ooh, tell me more about that. Oh, it's just amazing. So water knows it all. But Veda Austin is in New Zealand, right?

Akary Busto: I've heard that name. Yep. She does a lot of different things with water, so you definitely have to check her out. And we know from all of the different works that, that experiments and by that, I forget his, I can't pronounce his name. I know. I ne I never do either. The gentleman Yeah.

Akary Busto: The Japanese,

Kylie Patchett: who was a guru of figuring out that energy impacts. Yeah.

Akary Busto: So Veda has continued this work in a completely different space. Ironically, she'll be here next Tuesday, so I get to go see her [00:14:00] talk. But when we talk about water, and water touches everything and water knows everything.

Akary Busto: The way family constellations, traditional ho everything traditional, I guess I just don't do Yeah. Experience. So a traditional family constellation, you can either use little figurines or a group of people. Yes. With the water constellations, we use a little pool and the energy of the pool, there's a pump in there that just circulates the water.

Akary Busto: But when you see the energetics happening right in front of you, wow. You can't make these things up. And it's just wild. It's wild. But what it does is that it really changes the narrative and it helps us through our own arrogance and it helps peel some of the stuff that we thought was happening to shift how you feel about, your ancestors.

Akary Busto: Recognize. [00:15:00] Recognizing, and this is how I also navigate my breath circles is understanding that it was not personal. Yeah. That's a big piece is none of it was personal. Your mom didn't get up in the morning trying to make your life miserable every day. That's just not what it was.

Akary Busto: She was in her own trauma cycle. Yeah,

Kylie Patchett: exactly. Geez, this has such been such a big part of my perimenopause, trauma eruption uncovering and unfurling. Because you're right the arrogance and the individual perspective of our little tiny brain that can only sense very limited, amounts of the huge oceans of information streaming in at any one time has its whole point is to form a narrative and a story.

Kylie Patchett: But often because we are doing that from that individual space, we don't actually see all of it. And so therefore we cannot. And yeah. My experience of that was very much growing up with a, like a this deep feeling of just lack of [00:16:00] self-worth because of the way that I was parented by one of my parents who was in a trauma cycle battling addiction, battling mental health, and none of that had anything to do with me, but my brain made it about me.

Kylie Patchett: And far out that story, the limitation that comes with that story is wild. And then when you realize it's just a freaking story, you're like, what the fuck have I been doing to myself? All of a sudden? And then what I've found is that then I, the work was around forgiving myself, not forgiving anybody else, not seeing the pattern of forgiving myself for actually doing almost self harm or abandoning

Akary Busto: the harm that we do to ourselves. Yeah. 'cause of someone else's story. Yeah. And how freeing. Liberating it is to be able to get to that point of, you know what, fuck everyone. Exactly. I'm here to save me. I am here to save me. Yeah. And that, that alone is a full-time job.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah. And to figure out who you are underneath the [00:17:00] story though.

Kylie Patchett: And I think that's, I, there's so many things I wanna ask you in response to everything you shared. I think I wanna go back to human design versus quantum design, because I know of Karen Carrie Parker. I've not learnt anything underneath her kind of framework or anything.

Kylie Patchett: But could you, for listeners, just give us a kind of snapshot of the difference or what attracted you to the quantum human design versus the traditional way of doing

Akary Busto: this?

Kylie Patchett: Traditional

Akary Busto: human design was focused on the not self. On the shadow part of who we are not. And the way that I interpreted all of that is it's the loudest part.

Akary Busto: It's the loudest part. It's the one that we always lean into. Who I am not.

Kylie Patchett: Yes. Yeah.

Akary Busto: And of course, everything re reminds us of how imperfect we are. So welcome to humanness people. Welcome to being human. So traditional human design, we can say is the not self and quantum design is going into the self.

Akary Busto: So being in [00:18:00] an, so you can, you start as a generator. You start as a manifesting generator. But then you go through the, to, through the initiation, into the quantum space. And then you can become that alchemist, and then you can become that time bender. Because one of the things that, that traditional human design teaches manifesting generators is that they, they skip steps, they make mistakes.

Akary Busto: And so quantum human design says. No time Bender. You are here to create shortcuts to life. It may not always work out that way because you're skipping steps, but it is so important for you to continue creating those shortcuts because you help humanity collective.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah.

Akary Busto: By saving them time, and effort.

Akary Busto: And the other piece with generators and manifesting generators is that manifesting generators have a lot more energy than we do. Busyness is a big thing, and so [00:19:00] sometimes we get caught up as generators in that speed space. Yep. We're not here for speed. We are here for sustainability. And the way that we make this good distinction around what is a manifesting generator.

Akary Busto: And a generator is the story of the tortoise and the hare. The race at the same time, but that hair has so much energy. Yes. Trying here, doing that all over the place. Yep. And at the end of the race, we end at the same time, but we both have two different purposes.

Kylie Patchett: My

Akary Busto: purpose is for sustainability, your purpose is to figure out how you can do so many things in the shortest amount of time.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah. So interesting. Hey,

Akary Busto: and that is the beauty of having that quantum human design because there's empowerment, there's sovereignty. Yes. It allows you to live in that place of yum instead of constantly beating yourself up in the stuff that you're just not.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah. Yeah. [00:20:00] That's what, as you're talking, that's what it feels like to me.

Kylie Patchett: One is, and this is the same energy I talk about in terms of the whole online business space with some of the things that we are sold or, that's spoken about a lot or given a lot of airtime. It's like this there's something wrong with you, you need to fix it.

Kylie Patchett: And there's a way of being that's the correct way of being versus leaning into the full potency of who you actually are and letting everything that you're not just be, not what you do. Like that 2D very different lenses,

Akary Busto: isn't it? Yeah. And see, and that's where my work comes in because what we're trying to do is rewire these patterns, rewire the brain to get out of that space and to really start going into the space of self-compassion and self-love, which are not very easy. It's easy for people to say, Hey, you just need to pause. But the reality is. That reptilian brain does not wanna pause. It wants to fight. Yeah. Yeah. I need to and open throat, right?

Akary Busto: I need to be heard. [00:21:00] Yeah. Whether, and the only ones that can remain in that space comfortably could be a manifester and a manifesting generator that are grounded. But they too can go into that space of using their voice and their words incorrectly. My mother is a very defined manifesting generator and she uses words as daggers.

Akary Busto: And so like you, I've had to really decondition like get myself out of the space of, you don't even know yourself. How do you know me? Yes. Yeah. And so that's where my work weaves into. Human design, there was a really big need for me to be present with a lot of women who were, experiencing a lot of pain from a lot of different trauma.

Akary Busto: And so I've managed to create a framework that works that allows them to whew, breathe a little. And like I said, I do everything contrary to what the world tells you. So I meet with people [00:22:00] every week for two hours, because therapy sucks when you're there and you're ugly crying, and then someone's like, all right, time.

Akary Busto: You're just like, that's it. I can't even get my snot together. Yeah, exactly. Hello, I may scare the people in the waiting room. It's just, it just never felt complete. And so my main focus is I want you to feel complete completion is really where we can create an impact so that you can feel safe to be out in the world.

Kylie Patchett: So beautiful. I just as I'm hearing you, coming back to what you were saying about, people with alcohol, drugs, et cetera, it's that disconnection and trying to not be here or not feel this or not, and not be in the reptilian brain in the story what would you say, I'm interested, what would you want people to hear that find themselves in the pattern of that [00:23:00] addiction or wanting to disconnect or feeling that they don't, don't wanna be feeling what they're feeling and so they're on the surface doing those ha, just keep swimming time of type of patterns.

Kylie Patchett: What would be your invitation

Akary Busto: to them? The first thing I want to tell them is that they're not broken. Okay. They're not broken. When we feel so shitty inside of ourselves, we're gonna do whatever it takes to feel better. So God bless you for finding something that allows you to escape feeling like crap first.

Akary Busto: Yeah. They get stuck in a shame loop because society looks down on addiction as if it was something that they purposely are doing. Yeah, exactly. All they're purposely doing is trying not to feel crappy. Yeah. Yep. Okay. So honoring, first of all, honoring that, honoring why they're there in the first place.

Akary Busto: And then the second thing that I would say is it's a nervous system issue. [00:24:00] It's a nervous system issue. It's a pattern, it's a behavioral pattern that starts to come through. And if they are interested in breaking some of those patterns, I, my invitation is to, number one, be a little curious. To be curious about what is lurking inside of you.

Akary Busto: That provokes that provokes these feelings. Because we go back to that whole narrative. It's this narrative of I'm not worthy, I'm not enough, I am not lovable. I'm not trustworthy. I can't even trust myself. There's just so many different resiliency keys that are broken in in, within the framework of who I am.

Akary Busto: Not that the person is broken, but they've broken these resiliency keys and really made them a negative thing. So everything is negative. Can't love myself, no one can love me. I can't make wise decisions, and everything lives in that human design chart. So being curious about, what this [00:25:00] openness and def definition means because, you and I have the same centers defined.

Akary Busto: Yeah. Very.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah. Yeah.

Akary Busto: So what that does for us is that it really. Puts us out there to be victims of a lot of like narcissistic people because they're not our ideas, but there are ideas that are being planted that sound really cool, and it's oh yeah, that's a great idea. And because of that, I've had so many life experiences around, I feel like I've lived a million lifetimes already.

Akary Busto: My being around my mother who it very defined right my way or the highway, and knowing that when I was not around her, I could actually ugh, breathe. And so it really breaks everything down so that you understand yourself a little better and stop judging yourself. Being self-compassionate is so hard.

Akary Busto: I, I, we all, it's not like it's, like you learn it and you're done. It's, there's always levels and levels of stuff that get [00:26:00] unearthed, but having the compassion. Having the compassion and the curiosity. Yeah. I think once you have that little curiosity, then we can start moving through. Dr.

Akary Busto: David Hawkins created something called The levels of consciousness. Yeah. And so watching people go from shame to anger scares a lot of us. But I love anger. I love anger because anger is what really helps us, catapult us to the next level of, I'm not gonna be here any longer. I'm not, gain getting your power back.

Akary Busto: It's like an alchemical like

Kylie Patchett: fire on your well, fire inside. Totally. That is the chemical. Totally. And

Akary Busto: of course, the world doesn't want that. The world doesn't want you to be angry to change all of these different habits that you have because no one's making money off of you. No, exactly. And that's the whole thing.

Akary Busto: I think, that really has ignited that fire for me is. I'm tired of making people all kinds of money out of my pain.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah, exactly. Oh my goodness. Yes. I'm in the middle of [00:27:00] writing a book about this. Yeah. So the whole concept that we are, follow me on that. No, just kidding. Yeah, exactly. I'll interview you for the bloody book bloody book.

Kylie Patchett: I'm talking about the bloody book 'cause I've been talking about it since June. Anyway, that's fine. I wanna ask when you're talking about definition incentives first of all, I just want to, I guess for, I know like I feel like everyone knows about human design, but not everybody does. And I think that the way that I would summarize it, and I'm sure that you have additional layers to add as well, is just I love leaning into human design because to me it helps me understand.

Kylie Patchett: The My nature, the way that I'm literally designed, and from a genetics perspective, I'm always saying to people, you are a miracle just by the fact that there will never be another one of you. There's never gonna be another one of you. And with that comes this unique frequency and flavor and way of moving through the world and communicating.

Kylie Patchett: And. I have spent so many years, one of my [00:28:00] stories has been like, I'm flaky. I'm, I don't stick to things. I'm not, but I'm not actually meant to be sticking to things. I've literally my basic understanding of my type is just to experience and experiment and learn and then bring back the lessons.

Kylie Patchett: But I, I've got friends still that are in the same career. I met them in 1998, and I was always comparing myself to them going, what is wrong with me? If I had stayed there, I would be blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, and you would also be deathly unhappy and you wouldn't live where you are and you wouldn't have moved overseas and you wouldn't have probably had kids and you wouldn't like all these things.

Kylie Patchett: And so as soon as I'd like, that was, the very, very first thing that I learned in human design. I was like, oh my goodness. Like the relief. And then it's to me now leaning into it a little bit more of a tool of it is so funny, like when you're saying self-compassion, when I can see like in a body graph, oh these are the, these are my strengths, these are the ways that I might be [00:29:00] easily influenced, these are all of those different things.

Kylie Patchett: Like the self-compassion is oh, there's actually nothing wrong with the way that I do things. It's just that I'm not meant to be doing things like someone else that I'm comparing myself to. So if you had to, I know that's a very long-winded explanation, but if you had to capture what human design is in terms of, 'cause you said before it's all in your chart.

Kylie Patchett: If someone is has heard human design but doesn't really understand what in your chart means, can we start at that basic level and then I wanna ask you about the definition of centers, et cetera.

Akary Busto: So there are five different systems that makes this one big system. They're all ancient books of wisdom. The ing, which comes from China. Yes. The Kabbalah Uhhuh, the Hindu chakra system. Yep. Eastern and western astrology. And then our favorite quantum physics. And so we're getting bits and pieces from all of these systems, and then we're putting them into this one big system.

Akary Busto: So it's not a personality test. It's beyond that because [00:30:00] one can become a student of human design and forever be a student of human design. Yeah. And so many and from human design, the gene keys were born. So now we're getting all, and from human design, we have quantum human design, so we see so many different things being born from this system. This system takes your birth date. Your birth time and your location, because we want to take a picture of where the planets were three months before you were born, which in human design, we believe this is when the soul goes into your mama's body.

Akary Busto: That's when you're always learned about that bit on a body graph. Thank you. Yes. And so that's what we call the unconscious part.

Kylie Patchett: It

Akary Busto: is also the part that we call your life purpose. Okay. So that is the unconscious. That is what when you know your parents say you smile like Aunt [00:31:00] Sally.

Akary Busto: You're like, I don't even know who Aunt Sally is, but Okay. But you hear it so often that as the years go by, there's a little bit of wisdom that comes in, but you can't see it. But it's how you show up, but you don't, you're not aware.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah.

Akary Busto: The other side is exactly where the planets were at the time of your birth.

Akary Busto: So we're looking at the snapshot three months before you were born, where the planets were, and then boom. Where the planets were at the same time. And this is how we can calculate your life and your sole purpose, which we call the incarnation cross, which also goes in, in, it, goes with the gene keys.

Kylie Patchett: Yes.

Akary Busto: So the beautiful part of all of this is it gives us an opportunity to see how you are supposed to be in life if you're a generator. And I'm just gonna talk about a generator, because you and I are both generators.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah.

Akary Busto: It tells us that we're here to master the work that we love.

Akary Busto: And what you were saying about learning a lot of different things. Yes. That is part of our profile. Yeah. [00:32:00] That number three. It is the, it is actually the, yeah. The researcher is not, they're the explorers.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah.

Akary Busto: In traditional human design, they're called martyrs. Which, yeah, I know. Doesn't make sense, but there's a little bit about that martyr, right?

Akary Busto: Because you're constantly crying because people look at you and telling you're always doing it wrong. Yeah. What are you doing now that I'm a rebel?

Kylie Patchett: So I've never listened to them anyway, but whatever.

Akary Busto: By design, right? By design, yeah. So think about how often you have tried something thinking like, this is it.

Akary Busto: This is what I'm gonna do. And then all of a sudden you're like, Ugh, no. Moving on. This is it. This looks fantastic. All the, no, not, all the time. But that's part of the, that's part of the whole process. And so in traditional human design, they call that trial and error. Yeah. And in quantum human design, we call that trial and treasure.

Kylie Patchett: Oh, that's a nice reframe. I like that because

Akary Busto: [00:33:00] now you get to tell people what works and what doesn't work. And for me, I remember having this life experience and just going, oh, why me? And then of course I'm like why not? Because I can't teach it if I can't go through it.

Akary Busto: Correct. Yes. So that's the whole process is I have to have that learning experience myself. And I laugh about it because I think we are the kids that someone says, don't touch the stove. It's hot. And we go, oh how hot is hot?

Kylie Patchett: Yeah. Yeah. Lemme and can I really trust you because I wanna learn it from doing it.

Akary Busto: Yeah. I wanna know that when you're telling me the stove is hot. It's true. It's hot. Yeah. So there's a lot of exploration, but there's a lot of fear. So the not self of that length. Three is the fear of making mistakes.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah, it's so funny, hey, because I'm like, the more I lean into I I'm so enjoying the program I'm running at the moment because I've just allowed and leaned [00:34:00] into and been very open with the fact that we are creating as we go, which I always do.

Kylie Patchett: But my map is so loose in this program because I'm literally just responding, creating, responding, creating, responding, creating. And I'm having so much fun and the experience has been so much richer for the people inside of that circle. And I look back at my very first like program that I ever ran back in 2011, and it was so structured and tight and planned because I've got that real planner as well.

Kylie Patchett: But there was no room for me or anyone else to you know, unfurl and have a. Deeper experience. And it's just been such a joy to be like, this doesn't have to be like, perfectly perfect. So even the sales page, I was like, I'm not even really gonna try at this sales page 'cause I'm going to talk about what my intention is.

Kylie Patchett: And absolutely that intention will unfold, but the way that it [00:35:00] unfolds, I have no freaking idea. I literally do not know. I know the key things that I wanna teach, but I don't know exactly what it's gonna look like. But it's been fun. I'm so enjoying it and I'm like, oh, okay, now I get this.

Akary Busto: So I'm curious, do you feel that evolution like that whole evolving of I am not here to be like really told what to do or kept in a really tight little box.

Akary Busto: I'm really here to experiment what works for me and what doesn't. And the people who are called to me are really Yeah. Going to wanna join.

Kylie Patchett: Yes, and there's been a much deeper like understanding what is my end of what I think of as my business. What is the, potential person that might come into the circles business.

Kylie Patchett: And also what is universal business? Because I'm like, I am not in charge of the magic that allows people to just find me at a [00:36:00] particular time or be magnetized or whatever. All I have to do is be myself as much as, as I learn more and more about how I can be even more of myself and, that's what I'm teaching anyway.

Kylie Patchett: So I'm as always, you're always on the ex, the front end edge of the expansion that you're also inviting people into. But the other thing that I've been trying emphasize that's been really cool to feel is not having to, not that I've ever felt like I need to provide answers. I, it's not ever been like that, but there's been a.

Kylie Patchett: What's the feeling? It's like less feeling of responsibility to provide something and more understanding that a lot of the transformation just comes from being in the circle with me and co-creating with other people. And so there's like this, 'cause my, there's an over responsibility pattern in my life that's been, it's not a new thing.

Kylie Patchett: But that has been so cool because there's so much less internal pressure. [00:37:00] Yeah. So then I can just lean into this joy, juicy, flowy.

Akary Busto: I totally get it. So for me, the way that shows up is my zone of genius is being able to share my knowledge through being able to respond. And so the opportunity of being interviewed on a podcast is wonderful for me.

Akary Busto: Yeah. Because I can respond to things. Yes. Like me putting myself on a video and just talking to the video out of nowhere. Feels very awkward. Yeah. Yeah. And so what I did is I created what I call Wild Woman Wednesdays. Ah, cool. And I don't have to do anything but invite facilitators to come and show.

Akary Busto: And so I'm just the middle person and I get to learn with everyone, and I get to bring all of these amazing people. But that is my version of a podcast where I, there are no rules. Yep. It is very liberating for me. And it's, it doesn't work for everyone because I'll say, you can do whatever you want.

Akary Busto: You have an hour and a half and they're like, oh, [00:38:00] yes, but that's a sacro bean. It's it's overwhelming. So I have I've created a little form for them so that they can re respond to what feels good. Yeah. But I do it. It's, this is your hour and a half. This is my community that wants to just hear you do whatever.

Akary Busto: They have no expectations. They're just here to learn. Yeah. So good. Yeah.

Kylie Patchett: It's freeing. Yeah. Feels very playful, doesn't it? Very different energy to the Yeah. Structure and the, I get the same thing. It's the al yeah, exactly. Which is how I used to live. Like literally, if I look back at my 20-year-old self, or even when I met my husband, we've been married 25 years next week.

Kylie Patchett: And I used to be so anal about things that even like on a Saturday, like the Saturday morning would have to be, we clean and we do this and we do, and I'm like, oh my God. Abel s how is brought up? I was brought up by one parent who was extremely structured, long-term army person. Actually ran the house like 5:00 AM I was woken up with a, like one of those bike, [00:39:00] like really loud.

Kylie Patchett: Oh my god. Breakfast was

Akary Busto: at oh five 30. I'm surprised

Kylie Patchett: you don't have a nervous tick. Oh, actually I really love structure too though. So there's a part of me that really loves that and then there's an equal and opposite part that loves that freedom thing. So it's just. Yeah, figuring out or feeling out how much of each is needed or that I desire.

Kylie Patchett: I love that you just invite people in. I have the same thing with this podcast. There is some people who do not cope with no plan of where to go. Like they just, they wanna know preformed questions and I understand and honor that, and I always will come back with, I just trust that the invitation, the fact that you've said yes to this invitation means that you have something to share and we will just unfold it in real time.

Kylie Patchett: But for, yeah, some people that's very uncomfortable, but most of my guests, no. So I'm always happy to play with someone who is also like that. I'm interested for your own feeling into what quantum human design has [00:40:00] helped and also breath work and everything else that you bring to the table.

Kylie Patchett: What's unfolded and softened in your own? Story identity way that you shift through the world. That's such a big question. How long have you gone?

Akary Busto: That's a great question. Thank you for asking that because again, I am a one three sacral generator. The one is the researcher and three is the explorer. Yes, they are very tricky because the researcher will go look at this and my explorer will go,

Kylie Patchett: let's try it out.

Akary Busto: Yes. So I've tried a lot of different things and the reason why my framework is the way it is and it continues to evolve is because it works. Yeah. It works. Yeah. And it's a root, like I'm going to the root. Of it. And that is what I had to do with my own self because I grew up with a mom with a lot of narcissistic traits because of that, definition and her own trauma that she kept bringing into her parenting.

Akary Busto: So [00:41:00] the one thing I believe that a lot of us inherit from our parents is a dysregulated nervous system. And yeah, there was a lot of chaos growing up and she, even to this day, she has managed to make her life so much more complicated than it needs to be. So from a very young age, I had to be the fixer of everything.

Akary Busto: And in my yeah, of course, because you have that five, that line five makes you the fixer. Yeah. I have a lot of, I have a lot of line five energy compounded even in my variables. And so what that does is there's a lot of unspoken expectations that are placed, and I'm the oldest. So unnecessary crap that I've had to take care of, which makes me the adult now that wants no responsibilities.

Akary Busto: I'm like, I'm dying parallel lives, checking out right now. No. So in order for me to be able to have a relationship with her, I had to do a lot of that work. [00:42:00] So what happened is the compassion started to grow when I downloaded her chart. And I could see like she was so rigid and lives in the shadow of who she is that she gave herself rheumatoid arthritis.

Akary Busto: And when you start to learn the energetics of that, there's a lot of anger, a lot of rage. Yeah. Rejection. And it is. And it is all justified. It is all justified. It's just not okay. For her to have done what she did to express it. Exactly. And in order for me to heal from that, I really needed to do the breath work to start to get me it.

Akary Busto: It was what the awareness started to bring in and all of these different emotions started bubbling. Yeah. And then the somatic component of it, I've done a few my, my own handful of family constellation therapies, and they have been phenomenal in releasing a lot of the stuff that just didn't serve me.

Kylie Patchett: [00:43:00] Yeah.

Akary Busto: Then human design, for me, it allowed me to see my strengths, like permission slips of Oh, I can do this. Oh, I'm not doing it wrong. Hearing, my parents constantly say, can you just decide what you're gonna be when you grow up and just stick with it? And it was like, there's so many things like, no.

Akary Busto: Like why would I? Yeah. Why? Yes. And everyone was coming from a place of fear.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah.

Akary Busto: Everyone. And so that is how I've been able to really do a lot in this work. I started working with an institute in Northern California. It is called the HeartMath Institute.

Kylie Patchett: Oh, yes,

Akary Busto: I read I've read a book

Kylie Patchett: about

Akary Busto: HeartMath.

Akary Busto: Yes. Yeah, I know. So I've been working with them for a handful of years now. And what I do with my clients is that each of my clients gets a biofeedback sensor that connects through their ear and connects and we're measuring heart rate variability and beats per minute. And we're just doing [00:44:00] these very easy techniques on how to align the heart and the brain because the brain has its power.

Akary Busto: The heart, brain is underutilized. Yet for ages, all of our indigenous, cultures have taught us that the heart. Is where we need to be making decisions. The heart is very revered. We also have that gut brain, but that gut brain, we're talking about parasites and all of these other things that, that definitely override everything else.

Akary Busto: But with the heart, brain, we start to recognize that we make decisions with our brain and our brain's wearing trauma goggles. Yeah. The number one job of the brain is to keep you safe. So when you're making these really big decisions, are you making decisions that are in, are, that are in your highest and best interest?

Akary Busto: Or are you making decisions that are going to keep you safe? That's, and that's really where we need to tap into. [00:45:00] So using these heart meditations and these techniques, what I am trying to achieve is trying to get you. To a different baseline. We measure where you're at, and then we try to get there.

Akary Busto: And through heart rate variability, we can actually see if there's something coming. So I look at the waves I identify things. And so I've only had one person I'm currently working with that her resting heart rate is like at 90, and I'm like, what is going on here? So we're definitely diving deeper because she's stuck in that fight flight response.

Akary Busto: Yeah, of course. Because that's where she's living. And the

Kylie Patchett: one thing,

Akary Busto: and the one thing that we need to recognize is that the number one killer of humans, men, and women is cardiovascular.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah.

Akary Busto: And of course, understudied. Is women.

Kylie Patchett: Women,

Akary Busto: yes. So this gives me a good indication of a lot of different things.

Akary Busto: And so her next move is to see a cardiologist and then on top of that, to get a a cortisol test to see [00:46:00] how much cortisol is running in there. Yes. And of course, 'cause I'm working with women who are in that perimenopause, menopause air era. I want her to also start testing, to start checking with a what do they call those CGMs?

Akary Busto: That they Oh yes yeah. The glucose monitors. Just so that we can see when these spikes are happening. So I think if I didn't have that curiosity of root cause, so many things go under the radar, and this is where my power as a coach comes in. Like at a far greater scale than the average person can recognize, because I'm looking at all of these different things.

Akary Busto: We, I request that they go do blood work and lab work, and I tell them what I'm looking for.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah.

Akary Busto: Leptin hormone. The leptin hormone regulates, your hunger, your weight. And so I look for things that people [00:47:00] don't ask for. And I look for it because I'm looking at you as a whole.

Akary Busto: I wanna see why your nervous system is outta whack and how best we can support your nervous system. Yeah. Sometimes it means that you have to have a little more protein than you have had. Sometimes it means being curious about changing into a ketogenic lifestyle. Tweaking what we can with what we have in order for you to get the best results.

Kylie Patchett: I love this. I, the whole concept of root cause like integrative medicine and the approach that. The whole, like even from a traditional Chinese medicine perspective, like if you, if someone say, goes to a doctor and says, have flat affect, they do the depression scale, they get put onto antidepressants.

Kylie Patchett: That's pretty kind of standard sort of approach. In traditional Chinese medicine, there's I can't remember exactly how many now, but I think there's six or seven like key root causes of the end stage or the symptom of depression. But by putting something over the top of it, you're never actually getting to the root cause.

Kylie Patchett: So that, and that, [00:48:00] and the other problem is that also that medication can mask what's actually going on. And so yeah the preemptively understanding that this pattern could be meaning something but paying attention to it. I love that you're talking about from a, from a bio market. I don't know whether that's markers, but like a bio perspective.

Kylie Patchett: With a trauma informed lens, with an understanding that we're actually inviting you to be who you really are through human design and decondition. That it's a very cool approach because it feels much more,

Kylie Patchett: I think holistic is a word that is overused now, but truly holistic. Like from all angles.

Akary Busto: It is a very, it is a very unique way of looking at it through that lens. And also you're right, they are biomarkers. I wanna look for inflammation in your body. Yep. And because I've seen it in my life I started a ketogenic lifestyle thinking I was gonna help my mother.

Akary Busto: Yes. And it changed my life. [00:49:00] So interesting. Isn't it? It changed my life because I was thi, I was being the arrogant kid going, you really should get into ketosis, not knowing what that looked like, felt like, or smelled like. And so I was like, all right, let me try this. And I hired a coach.

Akary Busto: And she walked me through it in a very functional way where, you're not just ketogenic you're carb loading twice a week. So you're cycling through things.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah.

Akary Busto: And it just blew my mind away at how much better I feel, the impact it has made in my nervous system.

Akary Busto: How I, react versus respond sometimes and how easily it is to rupture. Yes. And then still be able to, come and fix everything. And it doesn't happen in days any longer. This is, we're talking about, we're sitting there and a rupture happens, and we can all sit with that discomfort and mend everything right there and then so that we can move on with our lives.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah. Yeah. Because at this point [00:50:00] I'm looking at longevity. I'm looking at how quickly can we move through this so that you're not caring and staying stuck in a loop of shame. Correct. Yep.

Kylie Patchett: And I think what we forget to talk about a lot is the nervous system is built to respond to a stress and then return to baseline.

Kylie Patchett: But the problem is our baselines are already in a lot of the time, the stressed zone. So that's our baseline. I find it very interesting in terms of the, like when you start working with someone, with your framework, actually let's talk about your framework as well. You've spoken about some of the things that you do, but would you like to share kind of the steps or how would you capture it for people to answer?

Kylie Patchett: It's

Akary Busto: very individualized. It is very individualized because if someone's coming to me and their nervous system is very wound up, so that's the first thing that we go through we go through teaching you what it is. The response, the brain, all of the different information around that. And as we're going through that, we're going into the techniques and just [00:51:00] starting to see where you're at.

Akary Busto: Once the nervous system starts to settle a little bit, because we're developing a set safe container for you. We start to diving into human design, and I have this vision board project that we do together where we go through every gate, the individual the circuitry on the chart, the profiles, everything.

Akary Busto: We go through it one by one, looking at the shadows of it. And we put it into a little diamond and we put all kinds of information on it. Anything that stands out. And through that process we're tapping Yes. We're doing EFT on everything. And then once we're done with that, it takes us probably about three meetings, then we go into the self.

Akary Busto: That one. We just, it takes two meetings. 'cause everyone's so happy. Yeah. It's like finally I can just relax and be who I am. Yes. And it's that initiation. Yeah. It's that initiation from the not self. And I do it in that way because it allows us to see everything [00:52:00] like through a lens and feel crappy about it and grieve through all the yes.

Akary Busto: Gross things that we hate about ourselves. And then all of a sudden we go into the self and we're like, oh my gosh, all these little permission slips, all these little aha moments of, I always knew I could, I always knew I had, I always, and it's yes. And you get to be here. And so from that we create a vision board, a big vision board, a.

Akary Busto: Not focusing on the self, but we still put the not self there because you have to go to it whenever you're feeling crummy, you're like, let me go see where I'm at. Yeah, hang on a minute, what's going on? And then we go into the self and we do the vision board around all of the different things that you know about yourself to be true.

Akary Busto: And that has have not been explored instead of a vision board around what I want, it's more around who I can be. Yeah. Leaning into. So we go through that process and biofeedback sensor at the same time measuring every day. [00:53:00] Then once that is settled, then we can start doing the shamanic work with the constellation.

Akary Busto: That one is about two to five hours, depending on what we're working on. And what I love about our work is that she works very similar to myself, which is going to the root cause. So we start with a few themes around things that are. In your 3D. And then we go deep deep to see where the ancestral piece comes out.

Akary Busto: Who are you unconsciously loyal to? Oh, that is such a big question. Oh. And that really at that point, we start to change the narrative of the story. And we'll do breath work in between. I have a gal who helps you with movement and nutrition. She spends two hours with you so that we can continue to strengthen and change these habits.

Akary Busto: And then we're done. Because by that time, you're just at a different space. And what [00:54:00] I have found out that a lot of people need, not the accountability, but just the sounding board. So I created a program, it's a membership program called Soulful Catchups. And we meet once a month for an hour and a half.

Akary Busto: Yeah. And we are just focused on whatever is happening that you just need to be heard and to be seen. And I find that works a lot better than them going to see a therapist, let's say, just for that. Because we have a history together. Yes. By that time, I know your kids, I know your kids' charts and they feel safe too.

Akary Busto: That's the, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have one really cool story. I have a client, a former client who single mom who was struggling with alcohol Yeah. And through this nervous system work leaning into turning one year sober, and just changed her relationship with her 8-year-old daughter.

Akary Busto: Yeah, of course. And it's all based on this nervous system work

Kylie Patchett: oh, so good. So [00:55:00] good. What a gift and what a gift, not only to the mom and the child, but everyone that's Yeah. Impacted as a result of that generationally as well.

Akary Busto: And I, there's a saying that I've been saying for a long time that says, it stops with me.

Akary Busto: Yeah. But I wanna change it. I wanna change it. Because it doesn't bring, it's not empowering. Yeah. I want to start saying, it starts with me. Yeah. As soon as you said stops, I was like, I'd rather say this. Yes. It starts with me. I'm the one here who's gonna be changing the whole lineage, the trajectory of my lineage.

Akary Busto: I'm not in charge of my siblings, their lineage. I'm in charge of mine. Yes. And there's nothing more satisfying than knowing that it really stops here, but it also starts here. So good.

Kylie Patchett: Oh, I love this so much. I feel like as we spoke about with your clients being similar age group to we are with the, like perimenopause into [00:56:00] menopause.

Kylie Patchett: Do you feel like this is my lens of perimenopause is very much about reclamation and returning to self and sovereignty and agency and rulership and shedding skins and, all of that discernment of what I'm not carrying forward and who I am not. Do you feel like this is something natural that we seek?

Kylie Patchett: Is that the lens through which you see this kind of midlife metamorphosis as well? I think it

Akary Busto: depends on, on, on what work you've done. True. I saw my mother raging during this time. Period. And it wasn't pretty to witness.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah.

Akary Busto: So I think it can definitely, we can definitely shift the lens of it.

Akary Busto: It's very frustrating. It is very difficult to always be in that positive space. So I give myself permission to be in the thick of it and also to be a little upset about [00:57:00] it because, my sleep is just all messed up. It's all over the place. So I don't really, generators, we wake up salty or we wake up great.

Akary Busto: That, that, that's like the on and off, especially if you don't have emotional definition. So to all of a sudden be all over the map, I don't do well with big emotions. And so really this nervous system work has really kept me in a place where I'm really focused on staying neutral.

Kylie Patchett: I love this.

Kylie Patchett: I'm interested as you were talking about your emotional like the tools that you share with people and you said that they're quite simple. I'm interested to hear your response to. I know that this happens thanks to social media anyway that, something will have this big upsurge of everybody's talking about it.

Kylie Patchett: And I, and at least in my kind of perception at the moment, it's very much about like nervous system regulations, somatic tools, et cetera, et cetera. And I also have a very strong reaction to things like, everybody should be ice bathing every day and everybody should be doing [00:58:00] this and everybody should be doing that.

Kylie Patchett: And I'm like, I can tell you right now when I'm dysregulated, putting me in an ice bath will make me wanna kill someone. Literally that feels that uncomfortable for me and my nervous system if I'm like, already lower bandwidth. But how do you do you have the similar sort of response?

Kylie Patchett: 'cause it sounds like the internal rebel, is that the three line thing? It's I'm not doing this the done way. I reject the done way. I'm not following the rules.

Akary Busto: It is it, it really depends on the belief system. We live in a culture that, that if it's not hard. And it's not gonna make me cry.

Akary Busto: Yes. It's not work. Yeah. Let's do that is why I said I do very easy techniques. Yes. And that is what makes it so difficult and challenging for my clients. Yes. Because they want it to be difficult.

Kylie Patchett: Correct. I have just had this conversation. I'm in, I'm apprenticing in an energy medicine training at the moment, and I'm like, why is it so hard for me to lean into simple things that make me [00:59:00] feel good?

Kylie Patchett: And I'm like, because my set point is to strive. So what's the wisdom

Akary Busto: you'd like to share about that? It's the conditioning. It's, we're conditioned to have to be in pain in order to earn the right to be anywhere. Yes. And it doesn't have to be that way, really. It doesn't. And that, and I think that's why also the framework that I have chosen.

Akary Busto: Is this, I don't need you doing, ugly crying in a breath work circle if you're ugly crying in a breath work circle. You need therapy. Yeah. Yeah. And you coming to breath work is a bandaid. Yes. And you have deeper things that, that really need to be addressed. So if you're gonna come to a breath circle, I'm not gonna be taking you through a crying spell.

Akary Busto: It's not fair for the rest of the people that you haven't done your work. Yep. And no one needs to be carrying this. That being said, it is working on your beliefs. And so my belief is that we can go through it in a very gentle [01:00:00] goddess kind of way. We do not need to go through the male lens of, it has to be hard and I have to be sweating.

Akary Busto: Yeah.

Akary Busto: Yeah. It just boils down to that. So I really work at dismantling that belief because, we women already have it so hard. We bleed, we don't bleed. We have hormonal ups and downs there. There's just so much. And yet we still show up. Why do we need to prove anything else to ourselves other than it could be slow, gentle, and easy.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah. Oh, this is yeah. I feel like that is my biggest lesson at the moment. Just, yeah. Allow it to be easy. There's a friend of mine who teaches trading to mostly ladies, and she talks about this whole concept of earning without efforting. And even though she's talking about it in financial sense, I'm now going, where am I efforting unnecessarily?

Kylie Patchett: Absolutely. Where [01:01:00] am I striving towards something rather than allowing something? And it's just such a. Revelation for someone who's always been in a particular kind of nervous system state, let's be honest of gotta, I love so much about what you're I love everything about what you're sharing.

Kylie Patchett: I feel like I wanna ask,

Kylie Patchett: in terms of the, you've mentioned a few times, like the conditioning, in terms of conditioning, deconditioning. Can you explain in your terms what you mean by deconditioning? Because I feel like sometimes that word is, it's used a lot, but I don't know whether I really understand it in terms of its simplest forms.

Kylie Patchett: Put it that way. Again, that feels like efforting to me. Like when I, when someone says deconditioning, I'm like how do I do that? Tell me how to what, I'm like, oh, okay. Something else that I have to put on my list. What is your lens deconditioning?

Akary Busto: In, in human design, breath work is one of the ways of deconditioning, right?

Akary Busto: Then you have tapping, which [01:02:00] is that EFT emotional freedom technique of tapping. Yes. So that is how they like in general like focus on, on, on this deconditioning piece. When we talk about conditioning, we're talking about where we gain all of these different beliefs. So sometimes no, not, I can't say sometimes.

Akary Busto: Most of the time we're being imprinted by our parents.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah.

Akary Busto: Of course. We don't know any better. This is how they were taught. And so that just gets passed on. We imprint on our children. So that's the conditioning that's never gonna go away.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah.

Akary Busto: It doesn't mean that it's and that is what I'm talking about is challenging those beliefs and saying, okay, it stops with me, whatever it is.

Akary Busto: So the way I look at it is, someone hands you a beautiful family, treasure chest. Your job is to go through it and find what brings you joy and discard what doesn't.

Kylie Patchett: Oh, I love that analogy.

Akary Busto: That feels so good. So that is one [01:03:00] conditioning. The next conditioning that we have is the tube. The TV that's sitting in your living room that's telling you how many kids you need to have, how many, all these ridiculous TV shows showing the drama the female catty relationships.

Akary Busto: Yeah. The mother-daughter drama. All of that creates another conditioning. Yeah. Especially open head people that all of a sudden it's oh, this is who I wanna be. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna pretend that this is who I'm gonna be now, because she looks really cool. Then we have the conditioning of.

Akary Busto: Our epigenetics. The generational stuff that comes through.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah.

Akary Busto: Then we have life experiences that then starts to creep in, which I consider them the trauma that comes through with our life experiences and shifts and changes, our beliefs. So it is challenging all of those things. That's what the deconditioning process is about, is looking inward and [01:04:00] wanting to know if that really plays well with how I see life.

Akary Busto: And if it doesn't play well, giving myself permission to release it, let it go. Yeah.

Kylie Patchett: I love that description way more than what I've heard before. What's your thoughts on the whole seven years to Decondition Completely magic.

Akary Busto: Seven year. I think it's a process. I think someone had to quantify it in order to, have something to aim for.

Akary Busto: But it, it definitely is a process and I don't think that you ever fully get deconditioned because it's imprinted in you, it's part of your genetics. This is why I was wondering that. Yeah. It's like telling someone, who is Jewish, to not feel the pain of their ancestry. It's a cultural thing.

Akary Busto: Like it's in their DNA, it's been proven. Can they work on it? Absolutely. But it doesn't necessarily mean it's not gonna get passed on.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah.

Akary Busto: When you learn epigenetics, you've recognize, all of that. Yep. And it's important. It's important for us to recognize it and know that we can be better.

Akary Busto: It's just gonna take [01:05:00] some nervous system work, because what is the number one thing that we get inherited?

Kylie Patchett: Our nervous system. That's that. I feel like that's my, oh, you've said so many things that I've jotted down as potential quotes, but I feel like that's my kind of it's something I've always known about.

Kylie Patchett: We inherit dysregulation often from our parents, unless, I don't know, like maybe people don't, but that's definitely been my experience.

Akary Busto: And I want to say, and I don't know if this has happened with your parents. I know. I haven't seen that with my mother because that, she's emotionally immature.

Akary Busto: But when I was spending time with my grandparents, I did get a lot of that co-regulation that I couldn't get from her. Yeah. And my grandparents were around our age. So that little wisdom that shifted. And I just consider myself very fortunate to have received the wisdom that I did because that also had a lot of input in how I wanted to parent and how I wanted to be in the world.

Akary Busto: Yeah. One of the big things is that the anxiety where women are [01:06:00] believed to be the ones who need to be anxious. And it's no, that's just a dysregulated nervous system. Exactly.

Kylie Patchett: That's, no, that's not normal.

Akary Busto: No, it is not. But we've normalized it.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Akary Busto: And so I feel very fortunate to have had spent so much time with my grandparents and that my grandparents were of a different emotional health space than my mother because I was able to get a lot more, and I feel like that's what I have become for my daughter, is that that she cannot get from her. She's getting it from me.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah. I had the same experience. I had one, one parent, very dysregulated and very unstable, and one parent that was very stable and very regulated. So I got the co-regulation, but I've actually all, so you've given me a different lens to look through that at as well, because I've always felt like that's part of my, like swinging from wanting security, wanting freedom, wanting to like, but I just feel like it's a far more powerful and positive lens to say I did receive co-regulation.

Kylie Patchett: 'cause I have [01:07:00] often thought if both of my parents were like dysregulated to that extreme, I would be a very different human. I don't think I would be functioning as well as what I am in, in the scheme of things.

Akary Busto: In all fairness though, give yourself some credit. You obviously you were born with.

Akary Busto: Resiliency. Yes, definitely. Definitely. And it's definitely been a

Kylie Patchett: gift with my own parenting, like you just said. Like I've, I have had an extremely good example of how I don't want my kids to feel ever. Yeah. So it is been a very big blessing as well. Yeah, I just the thing that I'm carrying away from this conversation, so many threads, the main one is just the narrative and the story and the version of events that our brain learns versus this permission slip of you can actually review and decide.

Kylie Patchett: The treasure chest is such a beautiful, I love that. I love the visual and the storytelling aspect of that, that you can actually, yeah, you don't have to take the whole thing [01:08:00] on.

Akary Busto: You don't. That's what's so fascinating and, I. Went no contact with my mother for many years because there was a lot of stuff that I needed to be on my own and heal.

Akary Busto: And it wasn't gonna happen with her in my face.

Kylie Patchett: Yeah,

Akary Busto: I did similar. And it was, no it's, and I did it without any guilt. I feel no guilt whatsoever because I chose me. Yes.

Kylie Patchett: And we should never feel guilty about that. Oh, thank you. We didn't get time to do conditioning in the centers.

Kylie Patchett: Maybe we'll have to do a part two, someone just sometime down the track. But thank you so much for bringing your wisdom to the table. It's just such a joy to hear someone speak about a whole person and not having this five step magic framework that you put on every single person. Because I just feel like there's so much disrespect in that and the richness with which you partner with people.

Kylie Patchett: So that, yeah. That they, like you used the word sounding board, but just to have that safe circle to be able to do this work [01:09:00] in feels very cool to have been able to Yeah. Witness you speak about. So thank you. For people who don't know how to find you, where would, what would you like to share? Is this something you'd like to share or website link at the very least?

Akary Busto: I've created a lot of different things, but one of the things that I created was my quantum human design chart that comes right off of my website. Oh, cool. Okay. So it is aari, U-H-K-A-R e.com. And through that space, you can get a free general report from there. Beautiful. I am in the process of creating more of a nervous system connection with what it means to be, a generator, a manifesting generator, and so forth.

Akary Busto: But I'm doing it in my voice. So I'm actually doing these reports and recording them so that you can hear my voice and you can just I imagine someone putting their headphones and going for a walk when they just need to learn more about [01:10:00] themselves as something they can tap into. And, that's coming. It's just a lot of work. Yeah. Yeah. But but once they're there, they get to download that report and if they want to purchase a, if they're not ready for a reading or, they're like you and I, they just wanna dig deeper. Yeah. There's a 60 plus page report that's personalized that they can definitely invest in that everything comes with a 20 minute call so that you can see me face to face and ask me questions and we can see if you know what is going on in your life that could help you decide whether or not working with me is the next best step for you?

Kylie Patchett: Beautiful. Ah, so good. So many juiciness. Actually, you just reminded me. Something that I wanted to revisit from something like, I wrote a book about this back in my first iteration of my business in about 2014. I think it would've been is tying. The ways in which women in business get in their own way through the lens of of his mindset [01:11:00] coaching.

Kylie Patchett: Then so very much fear based, story. But I did it through the chakra system, and as we are talking, I'm like, oh yeah, that's why human design makes so much sense to me because Yes. Oh yes. Overlaying ancient wisdom. Yes. Oh yes. Very cool. Definitely. Oh, definitely. What a cool Waze.

Kylie Patchett: I started the day getting up too early, but I know you have been a genius, so thank you for sharing your gold with us and my

Akary Busto: favorite place to to practice with people is really Instagram. It's short and sweet and doesn't take all day.

Kylie Patchett: Yes, exactly. So good. All right. We'll include all of those links.

Kylie Patchett: Thank you so much for your time and generosity. Yeah, thank you. This

Akary Busto: was really fun. I feel like it, it feels very much like home.

Kylie Patchett: Yes. Yeah. I find, yeah. I'm. I'm meeting lots of people at the moment. Actually, I was just listening to astrology this morning, something on Instagram that I popped onto, and it was like, you're meeting all these like Soul connection collaborators.

Kylie Patchett: And then I'm like, yes, [01:12:00] there's a lot of threes in my life all of a sudden, and I've not been around them very much.

Akary Busto: So this is a moment of evolution. We're evolving and I am noticing that the manifestation is happening a lot faster than it was before. Yes. Very much. Yeah. So there's a lot of moving pieces that are going in the right direction and they're just falling into place.

Akary Busto: So it's very exciting to be in this space. And, like I said the one Human Design podcast that just really put me into the human design world was not trauma informed. And so I've come a long way to really bring this in a way that has integrity and that is here to serve the people.

Akary Busto: Thank you. And. The, my girlfriends they're young, right? Yeah. They're young. They're in a completely different cycle of life. So I just really appreciate being able to show up with women who I can, I know I can help. I can help the 30 year olds. That's not a problem. Yeah. But it's just really being there for the rest of our [01:13:00] women who, you know, we generation X, right?

Akary Busto: Yep. Yep. Yeah. So just, it's just very different. We show up different. Our resiliency is different, and I'm always really happy to walk with someone hand in hand and really get them to feel better about themselves. Good. Thank you so

Kylie Patchett: much. What a blessing. Beautiful conversation.

Kylie Patchett: I'm so happy we connected. Bye.

Kylie Patchett: There you go. Beautiful. One another delicious, juicy truth talking episode with a disruptor, rebel, or revolutionary sharing the identity shifts and the mess and the magic of leading right on the edge of your expansion and going first as a visionary leader, as a woman, creating a business and inviting people to completely new ways of learning, living, loving, and leading.

Kylie Patchett: It is not lost on me that you have invested your time and your energy in listening to the [01:14:00] show. I'm so grateful for your beautiful heart, for the work that you do in the world, and I know that if you are here, you are more than likely one of what I call the mad hatters, so the quirky, colorful, creative out of the box.

Kylie Patchett: Often neuros, sparkly paradigm shifters and thought leaders. So I'm so grateful that you're here. If you loved this episode, which I'm sure you did, please do me a favor and share it with someone else who needs to understand that their quirkiness and their full unapologetic self-expression is more than enough, and in fact is the secret source to growing a wildly.

Kylie Patchett: Successful, abundant, nourishing, sustainable business. So here is to us the mad hatters, the crazy out of the box people saying no to old paradigms and inviting into the new. And if you'd love to go the extra mile, [01:15:00] please make sure that you subscribe on the platform that you are on. So you never miss an episode and hey, it would be sweet, sweet, sweet if you would leave us a five star review.

Kylie Patchett: It means the world to us and it helps us get this truth talk and this magic and this power out to even more mad hatters. So have a beautiful day and I will speak with you next week.